Office毒言毒语 + 今日劲爆news！

昨天在做着工的时候
发现这个超风骚超有趣的东西
就把它记录起来

原来身为打工仔的一分子
大家的思想路线都是一样的咯~~

1. I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

2. Leave me alone. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

3. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

4. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting!

5. I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

6. I love deadlines. I easpecially like the sound they make as they go whooshing by.

7. I don't get even. I get odder.

8. In a meeting. The practical alternative to work.

9. To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

10. Tell me again how lucky I am to work here. I keep forgetting.

11. Situation desperate! Send chocolate.

12. Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done. V.V

13. Hard work never killed anyone. But why chance it?

14. Confession is good for the soul. But bad for your career.

15. Always give 100% at work. 12% for Monday. 23% for Tuesday. 40% for Wednesday. 20% for Thursday. 5% for Friday. Yeah!

16. If at first you don't succeed. Destroy all evidence that you even tried.

17. Bad day in progress. Approach at your own risk.

18. I'm out of my mind. But feel free to leave a message. =)

19. I can see your point. But I still think you're full of crap.

20. I'll try being nicer. If you try being smarter. =p

21. If you stay calm whilst all around you is chaos... Then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

22. Hard work never kills anyone who's supervising.

23. If your request is urgent, I would have done it already.

24. Watch out! Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly.

25. Always be 100% behind your boss. Then it's easier to stab him in the back. V.V

26. Please file all urgent requests under B for bull****.

27. Please deposit all work in tray. It's the circular receptacle under my desk marked trash.

28. Tell me what you need... And I'll tell you how to get along without it.

今日劲爆新闻：灵异事件！

今午本尊遇到灵异事件！！
故事是酱的
昨天在更新其中一个不在场职员的电脑系统后
留下一张字条
要他回来公司后，打电话给我
因为我需要他的签名在那张系统更新清单的纸上
之后我就下班去

今天午餐过后
我在自己的手提电脑做一些资料输入
手机就响起一两秒，然后挂掉
号码是没有在通讯录里面的
我就奇怪
看了看后
觉得这个号码一定是公司的电话
于是我去找Angie
她讲她不知道

这时我突然想起昨天留下的字条有我的号码
可能那个人回来了，要协助他登陆公司的电脑系统
我就马上飞过去找他
结果我到他的电脑位置后
发现没有人的？！
而且桌上的东西原地不动，电脑是关着的！
那时不敢肯定这个号码就是这个桌上的电话打出的
就试打咯
结果确认是那个号码没错！

这时我就很困惑料！
奇怪，人不在可是怎么会有‘人’打来咧？
想到唯一的原因就是附近的职员恶搞
但我看他们没酱无聊吧
这个可能性很低下咯……

到底是谁咧？？？难道黑色星期五一定有怪事发生？？？要表请侦探柯南来调查？呵呵~